We have gotten through a vast majority of my husband's second deployment. The kids and I are on edge. We just can not wait for the couple months to go by. But it seems like the days just arent moving. I have done the countdown the days thing for myself and it feels like we are on the same number of days we were a few weeks ago. Ugh. The kids constantly ask for him. Now the baby is climbing up to my desk and smacking at my computer saying "Daddy" over and over again. She knows we see daddy through the computer. I have gotten up with each child over the last few weeks because they have been awake in the middle of the night crying for him. It is hard to stay positive and provide comfort for them when I am just so darn upset myself.
Things are continuously getting worse in the country he is deployed to. It worries the heck out of me. I have to make sure I turn off the news when the kids are in the room. I have to be sure I dont talk about any of it on the phone with anyone while they are in earshot. It makes it tough to deal with sometimes. I just want to be able to talk about things to get them off of my chest, but I cant. I have to protect them. My oldest knows daddy is fighting in a war. And she doesnt exactly know what that means. But she knows it isnt a good thing. She knows there are bad guys there and often asks if the bad guys are going to get daddy. My son just knows his daddy is gone and he wants him back.
When I cook for the kids, I miss cooking for my husband. When we go to bed at night, I miss hearing his breathing and even snoring next to me. I miss smelling his soap and cologne when he gets ready for work in the morning. Most of all I miss his hugs.
His homecoming is close enough to see on the horizon, but still too far away to get into preparing for it or even letting the kids know it is close. The days feel like 3 instead of one, the weeks feel like months, and the months feel like years. Dear deployment you have overstayed your welcome, please go away so I can have my husband back! GRRRR