Thursday, November 17, 2011

Being selfish

I have recently learned it is ok to selfish. Seriously it is. For as long as I can remember I have always put others over myself. Family, friends, strangers, whomever. I always gave and gave until there was nothing left for myself. My kids were the ones I gave the most to. And as a mom, that is just how it is supposed to be. However, I didnt see the impact putting others first had on me. When I made the decision to have a healthier life 2 months ago, it meant I had to start working out and doing for myself. I hated going for walks with my kids because Korey would cry in the stroller and Shawn and Kayleigh couldnt keep up. And when I tried to put Little man in the stroller, he would just screech and cry and scream. I felt bad for him. He thought I was trying to make him a baby. My friend Teresa told me about a room in one of the fitness centers where I could take my kids. They would be in the same room with me and I could watch them as I worked my butt off. I made a pledge to go at least 6 times a week and I have kept that pledge to myself. Everything I do now is scheduled around my gym time, not squeezing gym time in my schedule. It feels good to make myself a priority. That is my time. The 60-90 minutes a day I get to work out my frustration, anger and insecurities. It is my time to do something beneficial for me. I love that time. On my off days I feel a difference. And i dont know if it is the rush from working out or the making me time part. It is ok to be selfish. it is ok to tell someone you cant do something or help them when you never do for yourself. It is ok to think about yourself once in awhile. I wish I had known this before. But a lesson learned late is better than one never learned at all.  So go take a break and do for yourself. Im thinking I might go grab a skinny peppermint mocha on the way to the gym and indulge a bit. Yep something else for me.

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